


Frieza x Yamcha Crackfic

by Echoic



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Did I mention I was in the shower when I thought of this, I can't write at all, I legit ship them tho, LMAO, M/M, Really bad sex beware, This is just a joke fic that I thought of, crackfic, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 17:52:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14676333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Echoic/pseuds/Echoic
Summary: During Frieza's invasion of Earth, a certain fighter catches his eye. Will he be able to control his hormones? (Lol no)





	Frieza x Yamcha Crackfic

**Author's Note:**

> If it wasn't obvious, I wrote this as a joke. You'll quickly see that I have zero writing talent. I legit love this pair (thanks Skins) and would love to write a good fic, but I can't so I'll stick with the crackfics. If you want good Yamza fics go somewhere else xD   
> Enjoy(?)

Frieza invaded the Earth with 1,000 soldiers. The Z Fighters quickly gathered, ready to fight the evil lizard- except that two members were missing.  
"Hey, where's Yamcha and Chiaotzu?" Asked Krillin.  
"Oh I left them behind like a douche." Answered Tien.  
All of a sudden a sensible and handsome man flew up behind them.  
"Hey guys, I'm here!" Yamcha shouted happily.  
As soon as he said that, all of the soldiers began to attack. Everyone groaned.  
Little did he know, his presence caught the eye of a certain evil tyrant.  
'Who is that man?' Frieza thought to himself as he watched Yamcha fight his men.  
'...He's kinda hot.'  
The evil dictator continued to ogle at the ex-fighter until he couldn't take it anymore.  
Without saying a single word, Frieza got up out of his chair, flew over to Yamcha, grabbed him, and just like that they were gone.  
Everyone instantly stopped fighting, which didn't matter cuz they had already taken care of all the soldiers.  
"...Umm what just happened?" Sorbert asked.  
Then out of nowhere Goku and Vegeta appeared.  
"Hey guys I'm ready to fight Frie-...uh where is he?" Goku questioned.  
The Z Fighterz (plus Sorbert) only shrugged their shoulders and wondered why the hell Frieza left and took Yamcha with him.

Meanwhile with Frieza and Yamcha...

Yamcha was currently being pinned down by Frieza, who had changed into his true form. He wanted to ask why Frieza had taken him and was straddling him, but he was too scared.  
Looking up at the white gecko looking man, he couldn't help but think that Frieza was kinda hot in a weird way.  
'Wait, why the hell am I thinking that about Frieza of all people?! He could, and probably will, kill me!' Yamcha thought to himself.  
But he couldn't help it. Having such a hot man directly above his meat stick got him aroused. He prayed that Frieza wouldn't notice.  
Frieza noticed.  
"Oh you naughty and handsome human," Frieza said huskily, peering into Yamcha's eyes with a seductive look. "It seems that I turn you on as much as you do to me."  
"Well yea you are pretty good looki- wait what?" Yamcha was stunned to hear Frieza's confession out of nowhere.  
"I turn you o-mmph!" Yamcha couldn't finish his sentence as Frieza had taken the opportunity to shove his long purple tongue into his mouth. Yamcha was stunned but quickly got over it as his hormones began to take over. He tongue battled with Frieza, fighting for dominance but of course, Frieza won that battle.  
Their make-out session was sending blood straight into Yamcha's baby maker, making it shoot straight up in all its 9 inch glory. Frieza began to grind his hips over Yamcha's crotch, further arousing the baseball player. Before he knew it, Yamcha found himself lacking clothes.  
"Unfortunately, we icejins don't produce a lot of wetness naturally," Frieza said as he started to lower his head to Yamcha's flapdoodle. "But I've already got a solution." Frieza then took the studmuffin's lance of love into his mouth and started to give him the good ol succ.  
Yamcha started to moan in bliss as the white reptile man ran his tongue up and down over his schlong, getting it covered in his saliva. Just as he was really getting into it, Frieza stopped.  
"Oh don't worry my dear human," Frieza said, smirking when he saw Yamcha's look of disappointment. "Now the real fun is starting."  
Frieza positioned himself right above Yamcha's thicc weewee, and without hesitation he jammed it right into him.  
The human and icejin started moaning and hissing in arousal and they started banging each other, their hips making a gross meaty and suctioning sound as they slapped together. This continued for a bit, but the two were so aroused that their orgasms starting approaching very fast.  
"Oohh yes...Yes!...YES! FRIEZA!" Yamcha screamed as he released his love goo into Frieza.  
"WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS!" (yea I kinda just realized that Frieza doesn't even know Yamcha's name LOL) Frieza screeched back as he also orgasmed, covering Yamcha's ding-dong in his juices.  
The two were tired after doing the horizontal dance with their genitals, and quickly fell asleep in each others arms.

Meanwhile back with the Z Fighters...

Turns out Frieza didn't go as far as he thought he did.  
The group heard everything. Their faces and looked something like this:  
Goku: :)  
Vegeta: O_e  
Bulma: ._.  
Jaco: o//_//o  
Krillin: O.O  
Piccolo: x_x  
Tien: °-°  
Gohan: O///_///O  
Roshi: ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)  
Sorbert: e_e

"Wow! Yamcha must be beating the hell outta Frieza to make him scream like that! I didn't know he was so strong!" Goku shouted happily, as naive as ever.  
The entire group face palmed.  
Of the entire group, poor Pickle-o had it the worst. Because he had such good hearing, he heard absolutely everything- even the wet suction noises. Unable to take it, he tore his ears off.  
Roshi wondered why he couldn't get action like that.  
Gohan was now scarred for life and probably wouldn't be able to bang Videl without thinking of this moment.  
And Vegeta(ble) threw up.  
The end.


End file.
